Hani- TO GIVE AND TAKE

 Everything you do and say is either bringing you closer to Jannah or Jahannam. Before you say or do something, think of the consequences.

Assalamualaikum w.b.t and hi! Alhamdulillah, I get to blog again. For this time, its 6.30 in the morning and here I am, stammering my fingers on the keyboard and just share my thoughts.  As a normal being, we did a mistake everyday either we realized or not. People do looks and see what around us and yes, nobody’s perfect so do I.

I feel not comfortable to deal with people in giving  advice in media social or reality. Sometimes we think we better than them.  Giving advice can be opportunity to share our opinion and perspective but we have no right to judge another action. The truth is, we are often much more open to giving advice than receiving it.

So, I’ve called to share some tips on how to give and take advice without offending someone. Especially for those who give advice when it’s unsolicited. These tips to avoid an overbearing know-it-all and offending the person you’re trying to help.

  Nonjudgmental ear

Listen with a nonjudgmental ear- let the other person vent. Allow them to simply think out loud and their feelings. But listen closely to what they’re saying. Nod your head to let them know they’re being heard. A good rule of thumb is to give suggestions when they are specifically requested.try to refrain from speaking until someone asks for your opinion.

    Proper questions

      Ask questions about what the’re saying or describing. That way you’ll get better understanding of the issue at hand and what’s distressing them.if you do offend someone with your suggestions, make sure to smooth things over quickly. Calmly explain that the advice was strictly your opinion

   Personal experience

      Offer your own experience to give insight into the topic at hand and

  avoid going off on a tangent, which could lead to diverging opinions and hurt feelings

  Carefully chosen words

     Choose your words carefully when giving unsolicited advice. Others may not agree with what you’re saying but it’s easier to accept when presented in a neutral manner and friendly tone.

  Empathy

    Imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes, and try not to judge them, especially if they don’t heed your advice. Remember, they are any solutions to a problem

 This is definitely possible, though it takes a bit of initial effort—but think about how useful it will be! To internalize good advice (and ideas in general) you must:

1. Learn. First you have to understand the advice—what it is, what it looks like, what behavior it implies, what benefits to expect.
2. Memorize. You must remember the idea if you’re going to keep implementing or using it.  you should be able to effortlessly recall the key ideas. They should be a part of you.
3. Practice. This is probably the trickiest part, and admittedly where I suffer the most. Memorizing ideas isn’t enough, you have to practice using them too. This will be effortful at first, then becomes easier as the behavior is learned. Find ways to practice and use the advice in real life, and repeat until it is completely natural.

I guess the pot-pet-pot-pet side of me is done. Till then, goodbye!